Personal Exploration (pt 1)

I recently found a book on my shelf titled “3000 Questions About Me”.  I remember

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buying it, as I like books geared towards getting to know people.  But, then it just sat, unused on my shelf for a while.

I thought this could be a fun time-capsule like journey.  There isn’t much space in the book to respond to each question, so why not answer them here?  I’d love to know your thoughts and answers to these as well!

  1. What is your idea of perfect happiness?

I think my idea of perfect happiness is centered in the idea of being at peace, or covered in perfect peace.

2. What is your greatest fear?

One: Disappointing those I love, and who love me (it’s not as crippling as it once was, though)

Two: Disappointing God my Father

Three: Deep spaces of water and not being able to see the bottom (thalassophobia) – Side note: This is something I’ve struggled with all my life and only just now found the term for it.  My family and I were just in St. John for vacation, and even in semi-cloudy water, I almost had a panic attack snorkeling by myself.  When I reached my husband, I calmed down when he grabbed my hand.  We tend to snorkel holding hands anyway, so we can show each other things quicker, but I feel a lot more grounded when I’m holding his hand.  I’m fine when I’m in a group of people, but not so fine when I’m by myself.  Clearer water is better, even if it is deeper.  It’s when things get cloudy that I get real uncomfortable.

3. What is a trait you most deplore in yourself?

Deplore?  That’s a strong word ….

I don’t like that I don’t have boundaries for my graciousness, that I willingly let people walk over me for the sake of not being a nuisance or pushy or what have you.  I would willingly not advocate for myself in order to place another person above me (I’m working on this).

4. What is your greatest extravagance?

Currently?  That was my wedding and honeymoon, hands down.  Though, I can be pretty demanding about traveling and seeing and exploring new places.

5. What is your current state of mind?

Rejoicing in the break-through that God is providing and revealing.  I’m at peace.

6. What do you consider the most overrated virtue?

Being woke.  Like no; acknowledge growth as growth and stop virtual signaling to be cool.  (If I misunderstand what “woke” means, please let me know and I will adjust this.)

7. On what occasion do you lie?

When I’m planning a surprise, and even then, I don’t make up a story.  I just give as few details as possible.  Though, and I know this is true with a ton of girls, I do lie and use a fake name if I begin to feel uncomfortable with a guy.  (My roommate and I almost had to do this in Italy …..)

8. What do you most dislike about your appearance?

My eyebrows — not only are they at different heights, but they’re also shaped mildly different.

9. Which living person do you most despise?

Despise?  Why such strong words ….?

 I don’t despise anyone, but I will admit to finding Beyonce, the Kardashians, and Taylor Swift to be quite annoying, just to name a few.

10. What is a quality you most like in a man?

Wisdom

11. What is a quality you most like in a woman?

Wisdom

12. Which words or phrases do you most overuse?

Sure (my active listening word); I apologize (this is used the most at work); great (generally used sarcastically, with my husband); babe stop (also geared towards my husband, generally while laughing, as he mocks while sounding like Beeker)

13. What or who is the greatest love of your life?

Growing up, I was a huge hopeless romantic — I mean, I’m a huge sucker for Pride and Prejudice, Jane Eyre, etc.  But, the older I get, and the more I settle into my marriage, the more I find the beauty in letting my husband be who he is, instead of expecting him to my Prince Charming or this “Nicholas Sparks crafted man” all of the time.  This has then created room for others to join the list of loves of my life.

One: My husband, because, duh.

Two: God, Father, Creator, Sustainer

Three: Myself (I’ve been falling in love with who I am.)

14. When or where were you happiest?

Yes, I was happy on my wedding day, but I will admit it wasn’t the most forefront

36351943_2111877528853407_2105447613368107008_oemotion.  I’m a people pleaser, and so I felt pulled in fifteen different ways during that wonderful day.  One of the memories that stands out for me as when I was happiest was when I was standing in Piazza della Repubblica in Perugia, Italy, looking out at the Umbrian valley.  I remember feeling the joy at feeling capable at surviving, living in another country (albeit for a few weeks) and in traveling around the country to see all the things I had been able to see.  I remember feeling so happy and proud of myself.

15. Which talent would you most like to have?

I would love to be able to sing, and/or make a violin weep.

16. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

My level of over-thinking, or thinking too much, which then leads to a level of perseverating

17. What do you consider to be your greatest accomplishment?

Running 4 miles, and over-coming my (self-diagnosed) social anxiety

18. If you were to die and come back as a person or a thing, what would it be?

I mean, Heaven is a thing ….. but a domestic house cat (though I’m not digging the idea of cleaning my own butt)

19. Where would you most like to live?

Right where I live now, but in a house, in a more southern part of the county

20. What is your most treasured possession?

The earrings my husband gave me as a wedding gift, a first edition of Vanity Fair I bought at an antique store, dated 1860, a treasure box my great-grandmother gave me in which she used to keep her love letters between her and my great-grandfather, the purity ring I wore that I got in Scotland with “true love” written in Gaelic around the band

21. What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?

The deepest spiral of depression, feeling forgotten and forsaken, feeling hopeless

22. What is your favorite occupation?

This is an odd question … of the jobs I’ve had?  I do have to admit I really, really enjoyed my job as a behavior specialist assistant, working with adults with disabilities to increase/decrease behaviors and increase quality of life.  But, as much as I enjoyed the nature of the job, I didn’t like the politics and bureaucracy involved with it.

23. What is your most marked characteristic?

I hope my smile or my eyes or my mind or my heart, but chances are it’s my height …..

24. What do you most value in your friends?

Authenticity — I have a pretty good gauge when someone isn’t being authentic or no longer enjoys my company.  With that being said, I value when my friends make me feel valued (like seeking out time with me).

25. Who are your favorite writers?

Growing up, I really liked Gail Carson Levine and Sharon Creech.  I still really like these authors, as well as Jane Austen, Dan Brown, Lemoney Snicket, Victor Hugo, Ravi Zacharias, and Levi Lusko.

26. Who is your hero of fiction?

I really like authors who are stellar world builders.  For example, though I’m not as much of a fan as I once was, J. K. Rowling crafted incredible worlds.  In my more modern reading, Marissa Meyer, author of the Lunar Chronicles, created an incredible world for her fairy tale re-tellings, and Lemoney Snicket created a beautifully sickly sweet world which to tell his unfortunate story.

27. Which historical figure do you most identify with?

I’m not sure I truly identify with any historical figure, but I’m definitely interested in several, such as Cleopatra, Anne Boylen and Queen Elizabeth I, Marie Antoinette, Sojourner Truth, Harriet Tubman, etc.

28. Who are your heroes in real-life?

Those on the front lines fighting sex trafficking, and those who fight daily for their lives (be it medical or societal), and those who say “yes” to God without question (specifically those who answer the call to pack up and move to another country for missions, or even those willing to be martyrs).

29. What are your favorite names?

Dinah, Selah, Charlotte, Noah, Nora …. Ask me when the time comes to start looking at baby names – no doubt this list will get longer

30. What is it you most dislike?

I really don’t like being hot (unless I’m at the beach, I don’t like the summer), coffee, olives, getting the hick-ups (like I get aggressively angry really quickly) and moldy cheese (my husband loves bleu cheese, but, like, I don’t understand why I should like cheese that makes my tongue tingly?)

31. What is your greatest regret?

There are three –

1. When I was a junior and senior in high school, I was the flute and clarinet section leader. I really enjoyed it junior year, but my life senior year really distracted me and I dropped the ball, majorly.  My heart forever hurts that I wasn’t as attentive as a leader as I had been the previous year.

2. When I was a senior in high school, I sorely mistreated a relationship I had with a male friend. We’ve both apologized and healed and moved forward, but the recognition of my actions still stings.

3. Before I quit my previous job, I would pick up hours at several of the company residential homes in the area. There was one home in particular that I absolutely loved spending time, and there was one resident who had asked me to help her organize her room.  To help with some of her memory issues, I had offered that we get clear bins and put labels on them, and she loved this idea.  I had promised (and when I promise, I make every effort to uphold it) to do this with her, and every shift I was there, she asked if we could go buy the bins and do her room.  As this was something that needed a tad bit of planning, I mentioned that we could plan for sometime around Christmas when I had more time to be able to spend with her during a shift (thinking I’d need the extra hours for Christmas money).  Unfortunately, when I quit my job, I was no longer capable of upholding my promise.  Apart from regrets of not being able to say “good-byes” to the residents I spent a lot of time with (and this home in particular), I really, heart-breakingly regret not being able to uphold my promise.

32. How would you like to die?

Peacefully, without undue pain to me or members of my family, and preferably without dementia

33. What is your motto?

Generally, “patience is a virtue”.  Recently, “God is still God, He’s still in control, He still

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has a plan, and it is still good.”

34. Do you like watching reruns?

Not generally, though I did currently purchase the complete Christopher Eccleston and David Tennant Doctor Who seasons and am re-watching them for the first time since high school.  Ah, nostalgia.  Also, if it’s a show I haven’t watched in a while, I may re-watch the older episodes to catch up when new ones drop, dependent on the show.

35. Have you ever won any kinds of contest yourself?

Not that I can recall, but I do have a vague memory of winning a jump rope contest when I was in elementary school, for a field/track day.

36. What gives you cheap thrills?

Riding on the back of a four-wheeler with my husband, snorkeling, trying new foods, dancing and playing sports in the rain, sitting on a porch and watching thunderstorms, belly laughing while playing hilarious games with family and/or friends, etc.

37. What do you think is worth waiting for?

Love, and God’s blessings and timings

38. Are you an organ donor, if so why/why not?

Not currently, but it’s definitely something I want to look into.

39. Should parenting classes be mandatory for new parents?

Absolutely, including First Aid and CPR.

40. What is the number one thing people are always asking you for help?

People don’t normally ask me for help, but at the moment, I have a few friends who are asking for my advice as they navigate online dating (given that’s where HB and I met), and my college roommate recently asked me for advice in navigating planning a wedding and finding a place to live after the wedding.

41. What movie did you love the original but hate the sequel?

I love the Wizard of Oz, but I remember watching Return to Oz at some point in my childhood, and that’s a weird one to follow the original.  I do have to say that generally I don’t mind sequels (unless they are the Disney straight to DVD kinds, those definitely don’t have the quality).  I think movie re-makes run the risk of not being great, though.  The original Jumanji is fantastic, and though the new one is a wild, fun ride, it’s definitely not the same, nor does it hold the same magic.  I’m also not a huge fan of the live-action remakes of Disney movies, but I’m stoked for the new version of Mulan.

42. Are you more talk and less action or vice versa?

Depends on the situation – my husband would probably say I’m someone who talks too much and doesn’t act enough.

43. Have you ever given someone a handmade present?

Not that I can recall.  Though, when I was a section leader, the first year, I created individualized gifts for each of the girls in my section (based on ways I wanted to motivate them).  This is also kind of a regret, because there are a few that I wish I would have taken more time on and thought of different items to use.

44. What type of person angers you the most?

Those who refuse to even try to understand my perspective, be it on politics, theology, life experiences, etc.  I have a lot of patience, but not feeling understood (and not through confusion) makes it very difficult to stay patient for long.  I am learning, however, to mesh my Christian principles with handling these conversations.  Also, people who fish for attention and praise frustrate me, a lot.

45. Could you live without electricity for a week?

Sure, though I don’t think I have yet up to this point.  My family and I do a lot of tent camping, but we used bath houses.  I also do take periodic breaks from social media and my phone, so that wouldn’t be an issue.

46. Do you think Great Britain should be part of a united England?

I will admit that I do not have enough knowledge about this subject to have any opinion.  Though, I do think stepping out of the UN was a good idea.

47. Have you ever eaten a whole tube of Pringles by yourself?

Not in one sitting, but yes.

48. Do you like champagne, if so what is your favorite brand?

I don’t particularly gravitate towards champagne, unless it’s a special occasion, and even then, I let my husband choose. (He is a Level 1 sommelier.)  Though I will admit to the ridiculous fact that not once while I was in Italy did I order a glass of Proseco.

49. What nervous habit do you have?

When I’m nervous, I get really quiet, I trip over my words, and I over present myself.  However, when I’m anxious, I pick at the dry skin around my nails, particularly at the callous on the finger where my pen rests when I write.

50. What do you do when you and your best friend get into a fight?

In any situation of confrontation, I’ve internalized the habit from my parents to “Respond, don’t react”.  I take the time to process the situation before I approach it with the other person.  Dependent on the fight, I also take the time think through the impact of the relationship on me as a whole; do I feel worse when I leave this person than when I arrived?  Am I constantly justifying or defending myself?  Do I feel valued and important to this person?

 

How would you answer these questions?

Ciao for now,

Julia

Xx

 

Also!  I started a second blog, where I review things, in general.  You can check it out here -> a girl reviews.

Follow me on Instagram!

 

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