At this point in my life.

I recently started a new job. And though I’m still in the training phase, this job makes me happy. It satisfies that part of my soul.

It’s a huge company that provides services to people with disabilities, with services ranging from day programs, child care, and residential aid. (I’m currently a residential aid.)

But here’s the thing; this is the company I was waiting for, for after I graduated. I was planning on interning with this company the spring of my senior year. But through a series of (God provided) events, I applied and interviewed for a part time position and was hired. And, when I graduate, there are hours for full time positions.

I love this job.

*And this is where the tension comes in.*

Because I am a junior who already has a job for when I graduate, a job with ample opportunities for promotions and raises, I’m so ready to graduate.

I hear a lot of my peers fretting about not having a job, and I hear a lot of seniors stressing about not knowing what they’re going to do in a few months when they graduate. And I’m over here like, “Stinks to be you”.

And to make matters worse, the way I’ve played my cards in terms of class credits, I could technically graduate in December. And, I may be living at home my senior year to save money.

Guys, I’m stupid impatient right now.

I have a lot of really good things coming up, like a study abroad trip to Italy in May and June, and a ten-day trip to Iceland with my family. Who knows what other glorious things the future holds?

But knowing what’s coming, and being excited about the future of this job, it’s very difficult to be content with where I am.

Don’t get me wrong, I really like my classes. I get to conduct another research project. I have a lot of free time. (I do have 8am classes everyday and that is not okay. This girl is not okay with getting up at 7am everyday.)

I guess this is all to say that right now, I’m really feeling the tension of finding a job I love, but having to wait to do all I want to in the company. I so want to go to full time, and I so want to get involved in every aspect of the company. I’m so ready to get my Master’s and my Psy.D, and to rise through the company.

I have to daily adjust my perspective from yearning for the future, to focusing on the present. One of the things my mom always says is, “Don’t wish your life away”, and man, at this point in my life, that is so hard. (I may or may not already be counting down the weeks until the semester is over. Whoops.)

And I do enjoy each day, but the impatience sits at the back of my mind as an ever constant presence, distracting me and disrupting my focus.

At this point in my life, waiting is hard.

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