Thoughts of God.

It’s been awhile, I know.  There are a few posts I need to catch up on, but right now, I just want to work through something.

My boyfriend and I got back from a conference in Washington D. C. a few days ago, and it was an incredible experience.  My spirit was re-connected with God, and I was on fire to spread the Gospel and live completely in His will.  My boyfriend and I had deep discussions about applying what we had learned during the sessions to our everyday life.  We were ready to take on the world, and shout from the rooftops, “Not today Satan!”.

And then we got home.

My boyfriend has continued to grow and be challenged and pursue God these past few days. (Knowing his testimony, this makes my heart overflow in happiness.). But I’m over here spending hours upon hours on my phone, browsing through vain, meaningless social media posts.

I have no desire to spend time with God, or pull out the fantastic study materials I received for Christmas to work through the Bible.

This morning, my boyfriend and I attended a different church.  (He is looking for a new home church, and he asked me to adventure with him.). The church we attended was wild, passionate, and it made me feel unsettled.

I love how passionate this congregation was to worship God, be in His presence, and hear from His Word.  This congregation made it very apparent that Jesus Christ was their life line, the biggest part of their lives and very being.  (This was a crazy contrast to my home church.). But I felt unsettled and uncomfortable there, while at the same time, I felt God in everything.

My soul feels tension.  One of the themes of the conference was how the Enemy tries to steer us away from God.  I was talking to my boyfriend this evening, and I told him I felt like I was being spiritually attacked.  Everything I was so passionate about less than a week ago suddenly have no appeal.

Priscilla Shirer, the speaker for the last session, said that the Enemy knows what will trip us up, and brings that very thing to us when we are feeling weak and vulnerable.  If this is true, Satan is having a field day with me.

I know my phone is distracting me from God, but I don’t want to delete my social media accounts.  I don’t want to miss out on the chance to see what other people are doing connect with other people.  I don’t want to be that person who doesn’t have social media, especially when I use my Instagram to spread my blog.

But what am I willing to do for God?  Is my social media more important than the Creator of everything?  Is my need for attention, or the desire to dive deep into other people’s lives paramount over building a relationship with my Savior?

If I am a Christian, and I claim to recognize the power of the Gospel, the very magnitude and power of the Gospel should be enough to convince me to change my life.

If I am a Christian, and I claim to have a relationship with Jesus Christ, I should be doing everything in my power to tramp down anything that comes between that relationship.

To follow God, what am I willing to surrender?  My hopes?  My dreams?  My future?  My relationship with my boyfriend?  The plans I’ve set for myself?  The security and safety of my home?

To follow God, what am I willing to do?  Leave the safety of my familiar and move to another county, state, or even country?  Am I willing to make another church my home church?  Am I willing to give up my social media? 

Christianity is radical, and the Gospel bursts through bones, shakes up souls, and changes lives.  But maybe my everyday life is too mundane, that my Christian identity becomes insignificant.

I want this to change, and I want to walk in the power of the Holy Spirit this year.  I’m tired of being tied to my phone, and falling to social media when I have a few spare minutes.  Perhaps, when this is posted, I’ll research how to disable my social media accounts.

When you have a few spare moments, what do you do?  Do you fall to distractions, like social media, or do you purposefully fall to God?  Which of those is more important to you?



Ciao for now,


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